I poop on unique, I poop on the ultimate of ultimate
I poop on the Max of Maximum, I poop on the creator of all created

I poop on the sun, I poop on the Universe, I bring poop and pee to all that seek it, bring kidney stones and diarrhea to those who ask

I open bathroom doors, I open bathroom doors that should not be open
I give poop when there is none,
I fart the wind; My farts are in the air
in your breath

I poop happy when you poop happy,
I poop dismayed when you poop sad.
I poop on your future, I poop on your past.

I poop on you when you get up in the morning
I poop on your dreams at night
I poop on your body guard
I poop on your shield in the midst of a fart.

All I ask is a few bags of your poop,
to thank me for all that I poop on.

I poop on your provider, but if you deny me of who I poop on
I can be forced to stop up your pooper
I poop on that I poop on

Dark, mysterious toilet water,
That lays on cool, plaster tidey bowl.
Timid, comes from my hole a wind,
That plays with many a butt hair.
Soothing, mystical pee,
That seems so endless.

When you look around this toilet,
There isn't much you can see.
Just the memories of what used to be.

The turds of yesterday have gone away
And all that is left are hopes of poop today.

I see the poop stain that used to stand so tall
Now that time has passed us by
It seems to be so small.

I see the dried pee stains that once were a yellowish blue,
God the good things seem to be so very few.

The toilet has gone through many a flush
And each one seems to be so very much.

What will I flush next, no one knows.
Sadly someday I may even flush my toes.
Only then will I know the true meaning of the flush
And forever in a cup I will save my willies gush.

I stole a poop from a dog today
I let it slide between my teeth
Before I pierced it's slimy shell with my hunger

Then I remembered
I'm a man and I shouldn't eat poops
But it tasted so good, smooth and warm

What have I done!?!
I ate a poop and enjoyed it
I stole from an animal unable to defend it

Am I truly a man? I should have control
But I took something; could it have been someone

I walked through the yard
Hoping the dogs owner would see and punish me
But instead I found a poop again

Like before I stole it
And enjoyed the bittersweet warmth of its cream

Am I a man?
Could I be; maybe this wondering is just silly

Clouds of stink they said today
Showers of grief and disbelief
Another one can't poop this day
With a sewed up hole and nothing to say
All alone these souls must bare.
Never their hole will breathe the air
The ones who pooped and tried to save
Their holes, their poop, their dreams they gave
Once proud to poop, but now they can't
Clouds of stink they said today

Rising with the deepest fear,
Toward deoderizing vents the farts draw near,
Their owner sitting straight and stout,
He smells them and he looks about.

He knows now that a crime is done,
And he looks down at his gushing gun.
He aims it up and cries with glee,
As his punishment is a mouth full of pee.

"Yes! Yes!" A man yells at last
As a stone that was in him finally passed
"A pet! A pet!" He cried with glee
As it shot into a plastic baggie

"A house! A house! I'll give it to live
My God! My God! It feels good to give
A bed! A bed! I'll give it to sleep
And a toilet! A toilet! It may take a leak"

He gave it a bowl and he gave it a cup
And told it to feel free to take a dump
He hugged it and kissed it and put it to bed
Then woke the next morning to find it dead

"Dam*it! Dam*it! What have I done"
He'd been careless and killed his only son
"A funeral! A funeral! I'll give to it"
So he dug and dug and made a great pit

And finally when sadness was off of his head
He said his last words to it and went to bed
He awoke in the night to a scream and a hiss
To find that it had risen from the grave to take a piss

O hail ye poop that comes from me.
For the tides of pee flow south, All because of beans.

Oh hail ye diarrhea that comes from me.
For the tides of pee flow west,
And my soiled wind blows free,
All because of beans.

Oh hail ye rock that comes from me.
For the tides of pee flow north,
And my rugged wind blows free,
All because of beans.

Oh hail ye bean that comes from me.
For the tides of pee flow east,
And my hollow wind blows free,
All because of beans.

I see water
Slowly I submerge myself
I am under
I see bubbles...
Where are they coming from?
I must know.
I swim down, but I stay where I am.
I see a cave,
The source of the bubbles.
What is it? I must know.
I enter.
Pink black brown and red...
A blend of colors.
The cave goes on forever in twists.
The bubbles force me out and back.
I see where the cave is.
I see a mountain, a mountain whose cave I had entered.
I see hair looking coral around the mountain canyon.
I see white walls around me.
Wrinkles everywhere!
I realize where I am, what I see...
I scream and jump out of the water.
I open my eyes wide and see...
An old person laying on their stomach in a bath tub!!!

A lady I know had a kidney stone
mounted in a golden ring.
She wore it everywhere she went,
'tho 'twas a very large thing.

She asked a jeweler, "My good man,
would you call this stone 'pee-kill,
or would it be more correct
to simply say, 'sit-still'?"

The jeweler look at her gem,
and not wishing to be rude,
said, "Madam, either pronunciation is right
but, in truth, I'd call that stone 'food'!"

So he pulled down a curtain an showed her
a refrigerator of kidney stones.
He took one out and took a bite,
Handed her one
And she ate it with delight.

Our poops are filled with juice,
Our poops are filled with cream,
We struggle with constipation,
As we sit atop the toilet and scream.

Deciding where to poop...
Wondering where to pee...
Stealing one last baggie,
One last snack before we let it free.

We clutch at foaming poopies,
We steal away from others toilets,
We hurt inside...and scream sometimes
The voice behind the fart.

The voice behind the fart you see
Is truely how hard we push
It tells of those constipations
Though not pooped are very real.

And in this time of throwing up
The chunks are made of gold,
The voice comes out...
The voice is heard...
We sit...we push...we grunt and squeal
And a poop moves slowly out by far.