One should start the hunt with the most logical place to find poop when looking for it. This place is the toilet. For some strange reason, people sit on toilets when they want to poop. Nobody knows why. Sometimes people don't flush the toilet when they have finished pooping. There could be many reasons why they don't flush the toilet, ranging from stopped up plumbing to the strange reason that they just liked it and wanted to preserve it. When one can't find poop in the toilet, they can look other places. If one knows where to find a dog, they can look around him for poop. If there is none they can wait until he makes some. He has to some time...It's just a fact of life.
If one doesn't know where to find a dog, they can look for a cat. Cats are very good at perfectly preserving their poop in a small, or sometimes large, contraption called a litter box.
If one doesn't know where to find a cat either, they can look for anything that lives. Take birds for example. They are living creatures, meaning that they have bodily functions. If something has bodily functions, it means it has to make poop. The problem with birds however, is that their poop is mixed with pee. The resulting mixture turns out only to be a white paste that can come to be quite messy at times. It is not nearly as good as the luscious brown round things that come from other animals.
When looking for poop, it is better to target larger animals. The larger the animal, the bigger the poop. The bigger the poop, the more likely it is to be brown. Take cows for example. They are animals and they are large. This means that they will poop more. Remember, the larger the animal, the more it will eat. The more it eats, the more poop it makes. This results in large brown poops. When it comes from a cow, it is referred to as a "cow pie."
When you think of large animals, it makes you wonder about small animals too. Take for example, the common earth worm. The earthworm is a living creature and therefore has bodily functions. This means that it "must" poop. The problem is that it is very hard to obtain an earthworm poop. In order to do so, one must first capture an earthworm, which is fairly easy. Then comes the hardest part. Waiting. Earthworms are such small creatures that they don't poop very much. When they do poop however, it is very difficult to tell whether it is poop or dirt. The best thing to do is avoid things as small as the earthworm. Instead, if one must focus on small animals, look for something like a mouse or rabbit. They both do good sized poops for their size, and have poop that is easy to find. The delima with these two is that their poop comes in hard crusted pellets. They aren't all plump and juicy like ordinary poops. However, the pellets preserve well and can be kept in storage without fear of decomposition .
Moving back into the large animal category, we find the elephant. When looking for poop one can always befriend an elephant. Elephants do bigger poops than any other animal in the world, and they do them more frequently too. The difference in elephant poop is that it is very messy. It is a very thick moosh and is hard to handle. When collecting elephant poop, take a shovel and a few plastic bags.
Now, for those who don't believe, you don't have to. But to those who do, I offer a whole new being to find poop from. The alien. The best place to find alien poop is the common abductee sites. Look in crop circles, fields, abandoned roads, etc. Alien poop can come in many different forms and can be difficult to spot. I have little experience in finding alien poop and can't be of much help. It is one of the rarest types of poop found.
Getting back to normal animals, the monkey is a very good animal to obtain poop from. Either by befriending it, or by making an enemy of it, one can receive numerous airborne poops from it. Monkey poops are fairly normal and make for an easy find. I recommend them highly.
If you've been reading this and wondering what the point of it is, it is simple. Some people obtain their lives pleasure by poop hunting. For some it is the thrill of the hunt. For others it is a very rewarding hobby to collect the many different specimens of poop. To those that think it is weird, I praise you. To those that think it's normal, happy hunting. And to those that are struck with awe that poop hunting goes on, I pity you. You are missing out on a great sport and need to open up and let out your inner feelings towards the wonderful world of poop. I have opened it up as widely as I can, and hope that you too, will be struck with the fascination that holds all poop hunters. It is a great one and holds more pleasure than one might think. Remember, if all else fails, you are a living being and have the capability of making poop. It is a very strong capability and I caution you to use it wisely. Happy hunting!
